Sick of symptoms, but try to stay positive,October 2013

Hello blog readers. Hope you are well. Thank you for reading this blog; you are appreciated. The bad bone pain I was struggling with a couple weeks ago did go away. I still have it every couple days but at least it's not every day right now. Thanks for your concerns. Now, I'm dealing with tonsillitis that is bad and lung pain that makes my ribs feel like they are broken when I take deep breaths sometimes. I know it's the neutropenia working overtime, but really? Can't you take a break? I really try to stay positive. I do feel blessed with many things that I do have in my life. But some times, I just want to feel no physical pain at all. Days like today make me want to scream: is that too much to ask? Ugh. I know many of you feel the same whether you have neutropenia or you struggle with other things. I am aware that every one struggles with something. I don't pretend that I am the worst off. I don't believe that at all. Some times I just want to feel 'good'-no pain, no symptoms, no fever. On the bright side-just so you all know-I am Thankful and appreciative for all I have in my life. Thanks again for listening and reading. Take care. Kat

Hard Days in regards to pain

Hi everyone. Hope you are doing well. I have had a hard couple days in regards to bone pain. Some days my body sucks. Bone pain has been in my toes, fingers, ribs, legs, and arms. It sometimes feels like my bones are going to snap in half. Nice huh. I know I should not get down about it-my body is working hard, I get that. But, I still hate it. Even my collar bone hurt today. Throat is still sore but I would take that pain any day over this recent increase of bone pain. My lungs have hurt too-I will keep an eye on that and be seen if it gets worse. Just think it's part of the whole package going on right now. Hope you are all doing well. Thank you so much for reading my blog! I appreciate each of you!

May 2013 update

Hello readers. Hope you are doing well and able to take care of yourselves. I would say I'm doing well. I still have my ups and downs but hey, I still here. My bones continue to hurt everyday, more so than before. And, I still have the sore throats, fevers, intermittent lung pains, and fatigue. Just get so tired. Like coma tired. Sleep does not help. So, people telling me to rest does not help (I don't get mad, I know they mean well). I still have days when I just get mad about it all. I get sick of the pain, the fatigue, and just feeling like crap most of the time. What does get under my skin is when others complain about mild symptoms that they have had come on-sore throat, for example. I know that it isn't always there and it does hurt but, really? $&7)&$($. He he. I honestly try not to think too much about "Why me?" Because honestly, why not me? I would rather have this than have the children suffer with it. If I could take neutropenia away from them,I would in a heart beat. Anyway, now I'm just ranting :) wanted to send a quick update. Thanks for reading. Take care. Kat

Mouth Sores

Hi everyone. Thank you for reading my blog. Hope it's helping you or your loved ones. Right now, I have mouth sores. One is in my throat and is about the size if a nickel-although feels like it's half my throat. Very sore, painful, especially when swallowing. Hot water and tea help. Not much else. Thankfully, there us not much more going on with me- just the regular crap, as I like to call it (sore throat, low grade fever, fatigue, and bone pain). Exercise-and just moving around-helps. So, I have been trying to keep up with swimming, walking, running, weights, and the elliptical-not all at once! (Laugh). I alternate and try to keep it to 5 times per week. If I do more, it's too much for my body. Although I do light stuff on my 'days off' like a walk around the neighborhood. Stay healthy everyone. And, take care. Kat

Hate not feeling well

Hi everyone. Hope you are well. I have not been feeling well for about 2 weeks. I have had infections and have already had antibiotics. My body is weak, exhausted, and just doesn't feel right inside my arms & legs (hard to explain the feeling-like when your stomach is hungry and empty-that's as close as I can get too telling you what my arms and legs feel like today). I've had a bad headache, bad sore throat, stomach issues, lung pain, low grade fevers, and significant bone pain. I'm sick of not feeling well-and having others feel bad for my condition and always saying sorry. I'm sorry too. I didn't wish this, want this. The exhaustion is the kind you do not get rid of with sleep. I know this is not going away (although I wish that all th time). But I just want to feel well. I hate feeling sick every frickin' day. Sorry-just frustrated that there is not a lot that can be done and jut sick of feeling this way all the time. I hope you all have a great day. Thanks for reading my rantings.... Kat

Glad you found me

Hi K. I just read your message that you sent to me a week ago. I'm glad that you found me and find the blog helpful. I'm sorry you have neutropenia but, glad you have had no major issues. Thank you everyone for reading my blog. I hope you all find it helpful and interesting! I have been doing well. Still struggle with the same daily issues-fever, bone pain, sore throat, and fatigue-but really try to have a positive outlook. The last couple days, I have been really tired. So, going to try to take it easy. I have been exercising moderately and trying to adjust my diet even further to help with my health. Limiting carbs and eating more protein. At least trying! I wish you all well! Have a great weekend. Kat

I really hate Neutropenia today.......

Hi folks. Okay, I probably hate Neutropenia most days, but really hate it when it takes over my life and keeps me in bed for days! Ugh! My throat is sore and raw, lungs hurt-front and back-but no cough, and fatigue so bad it's hard to move. Those with neutropenia know what that fatigue feels like. It takes over and sleep does not relieve this kind of fatigue. I know my body is telling me it's time to rest, but I get it. Can we be done now? I have a low grade fever but nothing too alarming. The meds are keeping that down. There is no underlying infection that I would need to see my doctor for, unless I crash. I do remember what that feels like and will go in if that occurs. But, I'm not there. Anyway, just venting more than anything. I just want to get out of bed and live a normal life! Ugh. Thanks for listening. Hope you are all well and enjoying the long weekend. Take care. Kat

October update

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for reading my blog. There was a huge spike in the last 24 hours, but cannot figure out why? But, hope it's helping those that are reading. I have been ok. I was on antibiotics for an infection. Throat was worse than normal but, not strep. Bone pain has been worse this week. Doc tried alternating pain meds with ibuprofen but, didn't work. Stomach cannot handle the ibuprofen. Discouraging. But I try to keep living positively. Still here, and that's awesome. I wanted to make a call out to Susan! I hope the acupuncture is working for you. I'm sorry I didn't see your message before. And, to anonymous-good luck dealing with the bone pain. It sucks. And most people do not understand what it's like. Please feel free to shoot me a message any time. I get it. Have a great night everyone. Take care of yourselves. Kat

September 2012 update

Hi everyone. Thank you so much for reading this blog. I do hope it is helping others. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. I started eating really well-making sure I'm getting enough protein and lots of fruits and vegetables. And, wow! I can tell it has made a difference. That being said, unfortunately, I have gotten a fever today, higher than normal for me. I'll see what happens overnight. I do not have any other symptoms other than the typical-sore throat, bone pain, fatigue. Will see doctor if it continues to rise. ( No worries!) have a wonderful day or night. Kat

Sore throats bite

Hi everyone, Thanks for reading my posts. I appreciate it. Just wanted to write and say I'm sorry to those who struggle each day with pain. It doesn't have to be neutropenia; it can be any pain that you live with each day. I have chronic tonsillitis due to my low neutrophil counts. My throat is always sore and is red in the back. Most of the time I am used to it, but this week bites. I have had 5 canker sore-or should I say craters-besides the sore throat. Ugh. I hate those. Bleeding gums too. I hate brushing my teeth when that happens, it's gross. But you have to do it-clean mouth certainly helps the sores heal faster. I was lucky to get some 'Magic Mouthwash' to use, which helped a lot. My bone pain has been steady. It's Friday, so I hope you all have some nice weekend plans-spend time with friends or family, take in a good movie, or sit down with a good book. Take care of yourselves. My thoughts are with you. Kat