Bone pain, July 2013 update

Hi everyone. Thanks again for reading my blog. I hope it helps those that need it. And, Happy 4th July to those in the U.S. and to all those throughout the world. Just an update for those avid readers: I have been feeling nauseous off and on (sometimes occurs when ANC counts fluctuate), exhausted later in the day, and moderate bone pain, even on pain meds. The last few nights the pain was enough to make me rest/get in bed earlier than normal. I have still been exercising and stretching. And, taking vitamins. Just is what it is. Funny how we can get accustomed to higher pain tolerances as time goes on. What is a 5 now (on a 1-10 scale), used to be a 7-8. I assume that will keep happening-the bone pain getting worse-as my body fights harder and harder to get healthy. I get mad sometimes but really-I am so blessed and have so much in my life, it's hard to think about complaining too much. Sure, I want more things, I still have dreams to make differences-but I am honestly happy and content with everything I have now. Family and friends and things I love about life. I hope you find contentment and happiness with the things and people in your life. Take care. Thanks for reading. Kat

May 2013 update

Hello readers. Hope you are doing well and able to take care of yourselves. I would say I'm doing well. I still have my ups and downs but hey, I still here. My bones continue to hurt everyday, more so than before. And, I still have the sore throats, fevers, intermittent lung pains, and fatigue. Just get so tired. Like coma tired. Sleep does not help. So, people telling me to rest does not help (I don't get mad, I know they mean well). I still have days when I just get mad about it all. I get sick of the pain, the fatigue, and just feeling like crap most of the time. What does get under my skin is when others complain about mild symptoms that they have had come on-sore throat, for example. I know that it isn't always there and it does hurt but, really? $&7)&$($. He he. I honestly try not to think too much about "Why me?" Because honestly, why not me? I would rather have this than have the children suffer with it. If I could take neutropenia away from them,I would in a heart beat. Anyway, now I'm just ranting :) wanted to send a quick update. Thanks for reading. Take care. Kat

Bone Pain & Fatigue

Hi everyone. Hope you are all doing well. My bone pain has been moderate the last couple days, even on pain medications. And,my bones feel fatigued-like they are deteriorating. I know that sounds crazy, but they feel weird, very tired, and hurt. I know they are working hard. Just sick of of this crap. I know those that have neutropenia know what I'm talking about. Some days you just get sick of it all. Ugh! So, while I am so very thankful for all I have in life-my family, home, and things I take for granted all time-I just want to wallow and scream about my neutropenia pain, symptoms, and the deterioration of the health I do have and will lose as time goes on. Ugh! These days suck. I am thankful to all of you who read. I pray for all those with neutropenia and other health conditions envy day. My you find some peace. Kat

Hate not feeling well

Hi everyone. Hope you are well. I have not been feeling well for about 2 weeks. I have had infections and have already had antibiotics. My body is weak, exhausted, and just doesn't feel right inside my arms & legs (hard to explain the feeling-like when your stomach is hungry and empty-that's as close as I can get too telling you what my arms and legs feel like today). I've had a bad headache, bad sore throat, stomach issues, lung pain, low grade fevers, and significant bone pain. I'm sick of not feeling well-and having others feel bad for my condition and always saying sorry. I'm sorry too. I didn't wish this, want this. The exhaustion is the kind you do not get rid of with sleep. I know this is not going away (although I wish that all th time). But I just want to feel well. I hate feeling sick every frickin' day. Sorry-just frustrated that there is not a lot that can be done and jut sick of feeling this way all the time. I hope you all have a great day. Thanks for reading my rantings.... Kat

Family members better

Hi there. Hope you all are having a great start to 2013! Just wanted to send you a quick update-my family members are better. It was influenza and they are fully recovered. It took a full week. They were miserable during the illness, poor things. I am still hoping to get through it but, I'm not so sure. I'm trying to will myself healthy. But, my bone pain is so bad today-it hurts to move. Yes, it's just the neutropenia crap. It's not influenza. Although, part of me wishes it would just come so I could get it over with. I have no fever, cough, stuffy head, etc. it's just the bone pain from the neutropenia. I am sure my body is working really hard. And, I appreciate that. But, it still sucks. Not to mention, the pain just makes my body exhausted. Just keep hoping that it can fight it off and we can get back to normal around our home. Lastly, I hope that that you all are doing great and will have a very healthy new year! Kat

I really hate Neutropenia today.......

Hi folks. Okay, I probably hate Neutropenia most days, but really hate it when it takes over my life and keeps me in bed for days! Ugh! My throat is sore and raw, lungs hurt-front and back-but no cough, and fatigue so bad it's hard to move. Those with neutropenia know what that fatigue feels like. It takes over and sleep does not relieve this kind of fatigue. I know my body is telling me it's time to rest, but I get it. Can we be done now? I have a low grade fever but nothing too alarming. The meds are keeping that down. There is no underlying infection that I would need to see my doctor for, unless I crash. I do remember what that feels like and will go in if that occurs. But, I'm not there. Anyway, just venting more than anything. I just want to get out of bed and live a normal life! Ugh. Thanks for listening. Hope you are all well and enjoying the long weekend. Take care. Kat

So Tired

Good evening,

The last three days, I have been so tired. And again, it's not the tired that can be helped by sleep or rest. Your body is just tired, achy, and there isn't a position that feels good.

The bones that hurt today were my legs, arms, jaw, arms and hands. My pain med helped a little bit. Didn't eliminate the paint today.

Starting to get a mouth sore-and it's on my tongue. Ugh! I hate when they are on your tongue. Those are the worst.

Still trying to work out most days. Sounds crazy some days-but it does help wtih the whole day-not as tired and usually helps the energy. There are a few time where my body is so tired that workint out does no good-and wipes me out the rest of the day.

I do wonder my WBC and Neutrophil counts are-has been a couple months. Still waiting for the big test that was done a couple weeks ago. But, it will be a couple more weeks until the results come in. Waiting game. You know what that's like ;)

Thanks for reading/listening. Hope you are all doing well.
Take care,

Kat

Chronic Pain is no fun

Hi everyone.

Sorry I have not posted for some time. The doctor and the acupuncturist have been working with me to deal with the chronic bone pain and fatigue/weakness due to chronic severe neutropenia. The bone pain has been significant and so my doctor prescribed a new pain med, which is helping a little bit-so that's good.

I am also doing the following in case anything helps you: exercise, yoga, hot baths, stretching, heating pad, making sure I get enough sleep, breathing exercises, meditation, resting when needed, and vitamins (multi-vitamin, Vitamin D, Tumeric, Fish Oil, and Calcium/Magnesium/Zinc.

I recently cut out Diet Coke. And, I also make sure I eat relatively well. I eat lots of fruits/veggies and I cut out meat about 7 months ago.

Taking one day at a time.
Take care of yourselves well.

More of the Same

Good evening,

Still feeling the same-sore throats, muscle pain, fever. Just feel run-down through out the day. Trying to stay upbeat-sometimes it's hard but I try to remember that I should be lucky for all that I have-and I am! I love my husband, kids, family, friends, job.

My body feels different than before-neutropenia has not produced these symptoms before. Feel weak walking around at work. Trying to get through this.

Best to you,
Kat

Muscles Hurt

Today, I woke up and my muscles felt weak. I did end up cleaning the house anyway-and then rested some. Later in the day, the muscles in my arms and legs hurt and felt weak. My husband kept telling me to rest and take it easy-but I said I always feel like I am resting and am sick of it.
I know that the weakness/pain is from the neutropenia but that means that it will not go away. It may come and go from day to day-but I will need to get use to it. ugh! Sorry-just not use to this.